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Student Life
S
Parents Weekend
Parents Weekend has been an annual University
tradition since April of 1992 when hundreds of angry parents stormed
the University gates demanding to see their children. Apparently,
a rival college had spread a rumor that dorm life at UPF had devolved
into a Dionysian Festival of orgies, drugs, sex, and unwashed
laundry. Although the rumors turned out to be slightly exaggerated,
many parents still insisted on being allowed to visit campus at
least once a year to make sure their children were living upstanding,
respectable lives. They also wanted to see what all their damn
money was buying.
To help foster the illusion that campus isn't like Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras, the Department of Film & Television has constructed a mock University set used exclusively during Parents Weekend. Our faux campus consists mainly of posterboard, matte paintings, and lots of mirrors all built around a sparkling clean model dorm room. Through a complex schedule designed by the Registrar's assistant, each student is allowed 15 minutes to convince his or her parents (or legal guardians) that the model is the student's actual dwelling. Furthermore, parents must believe there's absolutely nothing to worry about. To make the imitation campus complete, there is also a drinking fountain that doesn't work.
Throughout the rather long and uncomfortable weekend, parents are encouraged to stop by Keneesha Rae Auditorium. There, parents and relatives alike can pose for a photo next to a life-size cardboard cutout of the University President. Parents are also encouraged to stop by the University Megastore to stock up on sweatshirts.
Finally, at the end of the weekend, extra-special parents may briefly bring their son or daughter off campus to visit a grocery store and buy them a cart full of love.