|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[+]DDivision:
Culture
Degree: Bachelor of Suburbia (BS)
Suburbia is big and gassy and filled with unusual lifeforms, much like the planet Jupiter. And like Jupiter, suburbia wasn't discovered until the 1950s. The Department of Suburban Science has been sending research teams into suburbia since 1962 and with the exception of the ill-fated Levittown 13 Mission, each expedition has returned with minivans full of valuable information. You can choose to spend four or more years studying what many suburban scientists call the "cheaply mass produced frontier."
SSR101RArtificial Oceanography
SSR128RWatch Out, a Train
SSR133RParking Fanaticism
SSR149RHating the Public
SSR201RHow to ID Gangmembers
SSR232RPostal Secrets
SSR244RHow to be a Carnie
SSR250RGated Community Certification
SSR299RWarehouse Shopping
SSR301RSim Fishing
SSR319RGuerrilla War in a Store
SSR321RDream Home Repair
SSR333RNeighborhood Espionage
SSR343RComputer Recycling
SSR401RBasic Car Survival
SSR411RNo Fun City
SSR425RMessage Retrieval
SSR433RWonder Sports
SSR444RMagazine Contest
SSR449RThe Sock Game
SSR451RCrime & Punishment
SSR453RMake Any Child Hate You
SSR456RSuburban Science PracticumT[Prac. defined]
SSR477RThe Clicking Point
SSR488RVending Machine World
SSR535RTrust Fund Kid
SSR541RLearning to Stand in Line
SSR545RSatellite Dissatisfaction
SSR548RGuide to Small Towns
SSR550RHighway Planning
S
SS 244 HOW TO BE A CARNIE
An overview of the basic techniques required to work for a traveling,
low-budget carnival. Learn how to make-out behind the water-balloon
booth with a different underage girl in every town. Discover why
you should always have at least two visible hickeys and the secret
behind making friends with the Lobster Boy. Information regarding
snowcones, tickets, and repairing cheaply constructed rides is
also covered. Learn how to effectively harass women and taunt
men. Also, find out how social psychology can be used to make
them scream for longer rides or beg you to stop, or both.
S
SS 333 NEIGHBORHOOD ESPIONAGE
Since primitive man first walked on the Earth, people have spied
on their neighbors. In fact, neighborhood espionage is the oldest
non-verbal crime prevention system ever developed. We'll study
how tiny electronic gadgets have vastly improved a spy's arsenal.
Learn the correct way to make a chart of any neighbor's comings
and goings, how to tap their phone lines, we'll even teach you
camouflage pointers that will work in any frontyard shrubs.
SS 541 LEARNING TO STAND IN
LINE
Course covers both theory and practice of waiting in line for
hours at a time. We'll discuss some of the most commonly occurring
line locations such as banks, movie theatres, ironically-named
fast food restaurants, amusement parks, grocery store check-outs,
and that most painful offender, City Hall. Learn why the closer
you get to the front, the slower the line seems to move. Learn
powerful psychological tricks that will increase your chance of
successfully cutting in line without starting a riot. We'll even
study why some geographic regions mistakenly call cutting in line
butting in line. Plus, learn why standing in line in England takes
twice as long since those foolish Brits insist on calling lines
queues. Finally, special bonus tip teaches you how to handle the
woman who constantly slaps her kids around yet can't understand
why they won't behave in line. Since class meets in a chairless
narrow hallway, students are advised to wear comfortable shoes.