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[+]DDivision
of Humanities
Degree: Bachelor of Belief (BB)
Whether you want to save your soul or sell it to the highest bidder, the Department of Spirituality can satisfy all your Karmic needs. Our Department does not align itself with any one religion, rather, we like to find problems with all of them. And since no one doctrine gets favored nation status, faculty members only have time to learn a little bit about each of them. Remember, getting your degree in Spirituality is like getting a free pass to the afterlife.
SPR101RPersonal Religious Planning
SPR111RShop at Home I
SPR112RShop at Home II
SPR122RDiscover Yourself
SPR178RPersonal ID Numbers
SPR201RLife Without Death
SPR211RSuper Collecting
SPR221RNumerology
SPR234RIntermediate Voodoo
SPR255RElectronic Death
SPR301RChristian Icons
SPR375RI Have Bingo
SPR377RDivine Spiritual Event
SPR381RRemoving the Family Curse
SPR383RThe Nowhere Place
SPR386RThe King: More Than a Way of Life
SPR391RSister Power
SPR399RLooking for Aunt Elsie
SPR401RGloom and Doom
SPR411RWeekend Sainthood
SPR422RAngels & Visitations
SPR444RTrue Happiness
SPR456RSpirituality Practicum T*
SPR501RThis Modern Tribe
SPR515RCrazy Uncle Mister God
SPR535RTrust Fund Gutter Punk
SPR540RRevered & Reviled People
SPR542RImitation Life
SPR545RMr. Kung Fu Master
SPR547RCandleography
SPR549RCloning Jesus
SPR555RKarmic Payback Dance Card
S
SP 221 NUMEROLOGY
Tired of phony new-age systems of thinking that promise you the
world, but charge so much? This course will teach you the inexpensive
fundamentals of numerology. Not only will you save tremendously
on telephone psychic bills, you'll have fun entering numbers into
a simple-to-use machine that will calculate the results for you.
(You were right all along! who needs Math?) This new-age system
of thinking will virtually give you control of your life. Learn
how your name, year of birth, SAT score, street address, social
security number, waistline and/or bust size, all influence your
everyday decisions by sending out numerical cosmic "signals." Calculate
your career using a simple formula. Multiply the boy or girl of your dreams into
existence. Time and time again you've
come to rely on numbers; their very existence is evidence that
numerology is an accurate and scientific discipline. You can control
your future. Sign up for this course, and come to truly understand
your destiny.
S
SP 411 WEEKEND SAINTHOOD
This course will explore the easiest ways to use your supernatural
powers part-time for the benefit of personkind. From parting small
to medium sized seas to making it rain Twinkies, being a saint
doesn't have to be a full-time career anymore. Find out which
miracles will gain you affection and which will get you crucified.
Learn how to heal life-threatening diseases without angering large
pharmaceutical companies. We'll even discuss the drawbacks of
teaming up with an established religion. Bonus tips will teach
you how to create a secret identity, allowing you the freedom
to relax Monday through Friday without the bother of fanatics
camping on your front porch.
S
SP 456
SPIRITUALITY PRACTICUM
Spirituality students who display a frighteningly lavish amount
of charisma are encouraged to spend a semester developing and
maintaining their very own cult. As a spiritual leader, each student
guru must create an original concept of Ultimate Reality along
with a list of Spiritual awards and punishments. To receive credit,
the student must convince his or her followers to either renounce
their worldly possessions or participate in bizarre sexual rituals.
Students who are accidentally killed in a government raid on their
compound will be forced to Withdraw
(W) from the practicum. This grade will not be calculated
in the student's final GPA. However, students may substitute this
mark by re-taking and successfully passing the Practicum in their
next life or incarnation.
S
SP 547 CANDLEOGRAPHY
Exciting course will encourage you to accept the fact that candles
are more than just a way to illuminate the darkness. For a small
fee, the modern and lucrative candle industry can help you gain
that special warm glow in your daily life by supplying large quantities
of candles and candle related accessories. Course taught by the
Candle Lady who firmly believes that you just can't get the same
feeling from conventional bulb lighting. Under her shining guidance,
you'll learn how to mix chrome, brass, and silver candle holders
together - you don't have to be afraid anymore. Find out why the
latest candle scents like citronella, crandleberry, and chrysanthemum
can increase the value of your electric life. Course meets weekly
each Tuesday at a local Mexican restaurant; lonely women with
bad hair encouraged to attend. Note: Official SP 547 matchbooks used to be available
FREE with any UPF online order (but due to tighter government
security, we can't send them anymore! Sorry people!)