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[+]DDivision
of All
Degree: Bachelor of Free Thinking (BFT)
EXPLANATION OF THE "DISAPPEARANCE"
OF THE PHILOSOPHY DEPARTMENT
The Department of Philosophy was canceled in 1984 when a group
of students complained they never got a straight answer. One girl
in particular demanded to know if she existed or not. At her lowest
point, she is reported to have screamed "Yes or No, for Pete's
sake, just tell me." However, the Philosophy faculty refused
to say. After that, everything got out of hand.
At the trial of Molly McGillicutty v. The Department of Philosophy, lawyers for the defendants used symbolic logic and moral dilemmas to confuse the jury. For a while, it looked like their strategy might work. After three weeks of philosophical conundrums nobody knew what to think. If your best friend and a cure for cancer were both drowning and you could only save one of them what would you do? Or, if the Ring of the Magi could grant you anything you wished for, what type of precious gem would you want for the setting?
By the end of the trial, everyone was so upset and confused by existentialism that, sadly, the case ended only after the jury hung themselves. With the gruesome trial behind them, the entire department went "underground" and has been teaching from behind the scenes ever since.
Although their influence is felt everywhere on campus (in bathrooms, at vending machines, under trees), the Renegade Department of Philosophy is not officially sponsored, sanctioned, or recognized by the University of Psychogenic Fugue.